dude i'm inner monologue high
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize