i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
