ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
