He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
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couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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