Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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