your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
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Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
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Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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