The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Randomize
