Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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