I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
