I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize