Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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