I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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