Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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