She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
