I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
