Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
