i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
