Fuck appropriateness.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Randomize
