found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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