Do you still have your period?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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