absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
