i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
