My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
