dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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