How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
