hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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