It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
