He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
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He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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