i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
