I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
