Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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