Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
