i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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