I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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