You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
