Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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