Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
