it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
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He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
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On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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