honey bunches of taint.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
