you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!