So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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