that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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