at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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