Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
