Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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