I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize