Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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