Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
