my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
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no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
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This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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