Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
