I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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