yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize