Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
