..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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