You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
porn star boner night. come get it.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
