16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
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at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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