sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
