What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
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My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
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OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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