So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
